Am I a Christian Writer?

First, I should preface the piece. I was invited to join a writers group. It turned out to be for Christian writers. There were a few notables with years of professional experience in different phases of publishing, literature and media. They were extremely good at critique and editing. It was a valuable experience, but . . .

It is a challenge to be a Christian writer. Having your work published can be problematic. Most “secular” publishers shy away. The viewpoint might offend someone. Ironically, few people are vehemently opposed to the Christian perspective in artistic expression, even if they don’t hold to it. The few, who are, tend to be radically aggressive in their opposition. They are really just an insignificant fringe group, but somehow they steer the entire culture.

Christian media tends to cater to limited viewpoints held by the majority of their constituents. They don’t like to deviate from the status quo. Remember Galileo, he was censured for his observations. In either camp there is the interest factor. What can hold the attention of the customer? You would be surprised how much gobbledy-gook gumbo is voraciously consumed by Christians.

While esoteric literature of all sorts can find a broad audience, funky biblical commentary is difficult to peddle. The secular audience is allergic, and the Christian audience is dogmatic. Open-minded seekers are a rare breed. Many Christians were open-minded seekers before conversion, but seem narrow-minded now. Hard core Secular Fundamentalists can’t bear biblical reference, never mind text.

To be fair, the unbeliever’s view of Christianity in American culture is most skewed by what is most visible . . .Christian television. One might get the impression that you need to wear a gaudy, absurdly coifed, three foot high pink wig and entirely too much make-up, or sit on a gilded throne spouting platitudes while hawking holistic health products that haven’t been approved by the FDA. At schmaltzy Christian theme parks, cameras cover renowned personalities reverencing “holy” resin replicas of ancient alters as if they were constructed by the patriarchs. They forget that even the originals lost significance under the cross.

In the communities where we live, we don’t necessarily present ourselves in a way that would attract a seeker. The opinion of the cynic is often reinforced. We can’t be troubled with ugly business going on outside of our flaky Christian dream world. It revolves around the service and the comfy, cozy culture that is rooted in the central location where we attend. Some would do well to learn the difference between a move of the spirit and a neurotic release of Id tensions. Our goal is to make Jesus real to others, and live in a way that would attract others to his love and their salvation. How many people have been repulsed, or inspired to relegate Jesus to the realm of Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny? I have seen earnest seekers snubbed.

Sometimes, we confuse the Kingdom Of God with our worldly culture. When Hawaiians responded to the Gospel, the missionaries dressed them up in stiff, black, three piece suits with celluloid collars and shiny black shoes. They made the women cover their breasts and forbade them to dance the Hula. The missionaries might have been wiser to strip down to their shorts, take off their shoes and dance the Hula to the Glory of God in the worship service.

Abusive fund raising is disgusting. Clinically delusional preachers deliver blustery, meandering, sanctimonious dissertations that leverage twists of scripture to extort money from the gullible and naïve. Passages are manipulated to promise a manifold return for contributions, dispatch angels, heal infirmities, save lost loved ones, and the like. They use insidious powers of hypnotic suggestion to manipulate the weak, “The Lord is telling me that there are 100 people who can plant a faith seed of $1,000 today! 1,000 can sew a seed of $100 each! You know who you are! You hear the Lord! You can put it on your Master Card or Visa. Remember the lesson of the hundred fold blessing . . . remember Hezekiah’s Passover sacrifice . . . move, now! . . . harken the voice of the Lord, pick up your pallet and walk. . . don’t miss this moment of anointing . . . put feet on your faith, run to the phone . . . show God you trust him . . . reap your bountiful harvest, Hallelujah, plant the seed of faith . . . phone lines are open . . . Obey the voice of the Lord! Get up! Go now! Go now! Go! Now!”

Please, watch this as long as you can stand to. It illustrates my point. I had nothing to do with the crass name of the video, but if the shoe fits . . .

Forget that the show was pre-recorded over a month ago before a contrived audience cast as a cheering congregation. The tax free booty is delivered to the “furtherance of the Kingdom” in a leaky bucket. I am amazed they could raise a penny with that tripe, never mind millions. If it weren’t for the all-encompassing recognition of “ministries”, or the indifference to inaccurate interpretation by American law, these crooks would be doing hard time for fraud. They may be the real unbelievers. They don’t seem to believe they will answer to God for their blasphemies and deceptions. Even brazen heathens recognize their apostasy.

How do we present and represent the Bible? A dogmatic preacher lifts the book, “This is the inerrant word of God! It is perfect! Everything you will ever need to know is contained within. You cannot judge this book, it stands judge over you!” He may enjoy that he has irked an agnostic.

I believe the bible, but wait a minute, the Bible is not God. It is a book about God. Secular Humanists might say that men wrote the Bible, so it can’t be perfect. Dogmatic preacher notwithstanding, that’s right. There are quite a few inconsistencies and varying accounts. I can’t think of any blatant contradictions. However, it does seem a bit contrary to command, “Thou shalt not kill”, and then order the annihilation of entire cities and people groups. The book itself is not the word of God. According to the first few verses of John, the Word of God is a person. Atheists cover your ears, Jesus is that person. Ultimately, the book is about him.

I should give examples to avoid being burned as a heretic. The very first pages of the Bible can be confounding. In the creation story in Genesis, oddly, there are two separate, back to back accounts of the timeline of creation events. They obviously differ here and there. How or why? It has never been answered satisfactorily in all these years. There have been attempts, like “God the architect” for one and “God the builder” for the other, but that doesn’t hold water.

When Cain kills Able he is banished to wander. He complains, “. . . whoever finds me will kill me.” God put some kind of mark on Cain so that the others would leave him alone. What others? Adam, Eve, Cain and Able were the only people on the planet. Where did Cain’s wife come from? No one can adequately explain. The KKK will be glad to explain the mark of Cain, and who bears it today in the color of their skin.

How about the Lord’s Prayer? There are actually heated debates whether to say “forgive us our debts” or, ”forgive us our trespasses”. Authorities refer to the “original language”, Greek, as if there were no synonyms in that tongue. Hello! The original language of the prayer was Aramaic or Hebrew. The book of Matthew is always cited as the reference for this controversy. If you want to have some fun with the contenders, have them look it up in Luke. It is a very different version. Did Luke get it wrong? Maybe they can’t take a hint. It isn’t the exact words that matter . . . it is the position and condition of the heart. They ignore this verse in Timothy, “Don’t wrangle about words or controversial issues. It leads to the ruin of the hearers.”

There are varying details in several accounts. Was there one demoniac in the Gadarenes, or two? Did Jesus curse the fig tree on the way into Jeruselum, or on the way out? Was there one angel at the tomb after the resurrection, or more? In the synoptic Gospels, Jesus comes back to take his people to heaven as the culminating event of human history. In Revelation he comes back to establish his kingdom for a thousand years before he splits.

I have bothered someone. I broke a cardinal rule. I failed to note “chapter and verse”. Also, I quoted “Timothy” when there are actually two letters to Timothy, 1^st Timothy and 2^nd Timothy. Whatever, I figure if you are a stickler for that sort of thing you already know the chapter and verse. Otherwise, it’s cumbersome and not pertinent. How did they do it in the early Church? Someone made a statement and they searched the scriptures to see if it was true. The Bible wasn’t written with chapter and verse. They added that later to make it more convenient to argue about controversial issues.

You can listen to sermons and take Bible courses for decades without hearing some of the best stuff in the book. “Accept the one who is weak in faith, but not to pass judgment on his opinions.” . . . “Don’t be overly righteous. Why should you ruin yourself?” . . . “With much wisdom comes much sorrow, more knowledge brings more grief.” . . . "One man considers a special day as sacred, another considers each day alike. Let each be fully convinced in his own mind." . . . “Even when we are unfaithful, God remains faithful, for he cannot deny himself.”

The Bible doesn’t contain everything you need to know. It doesn’t tell you where to live, who to fall in love with, what to buy, what career to choose or anything in that vein. Since the New Testament came out, it doesn’t even tell you what to eat. What if everyone in the world took the teachings of Jesus to heart and lived according to his pattern? Curiously, some adherents of other faiths make the best neighbors or business acquaintances.

I have been embarrassed by self-appointed spokesmen who have publicly asserted that horrendous natural disasters or hideous terminal disease were specific judgments from God on certain segments of the population. I suppose God’s wrath grew so great that it didn’t matter if innocent bystanders suffered from the collateral damage.

I find it odd that so many people seek Pat Robertson for advice of every kind. Once, he claimed credit for diverting a major hurricane after praying publicly for God to spare the antennas of the 700 Club in Virginia Beach. The whole time, I was down here in Florida praying that the hurricane would drift into the shipping lanes where it would be in perfect position to pump in large, long period swells and do no harm (aside from a disruption of shipping). To this day, those were some of the best waves I have ever seen around here. The solid swell didn't drop for a week. There were fun little glassy waves for another week, and you should have seen the young kids ripping them up. What a blessing!

Pat Robertson's hurricane theology is way off the beam. He prayed for God to send the storm back to hell where it was spawned. Try again . . . it was spawned out by the Cape Verde Islands. It is called weather. According to the Bible, it is a result of the flood.

I am just as miffed by some Christians as they are by me. I know I have made them look bad on many occasions with my antics. On the other hand, at the most critical times, by the Grace of God, I have risen to the occasion and delivered the goods. When it comes to doing right, seeing right or being right . . . no matter how obedient and spirit filled you happen to be, it is never 100%. That’s the rub.

I happen to be a Christian writer. I tell what I see, say what I think and how I feel. That is who I am. That is how God made me. If I had been born in a different time, I may have even written part of the bible. So, if you are a rigid, legalistic Christian Fundamentalist or an obstinate, stiff-necked, angry atheist . . . get real and get over it. The truth will set you free!